Taming the Inner Critic:Are you standing in the way of your own success?

Are you the kind of person that always keeps her word? Can your friends always count on you to follow through because you would never think of disappointing them?

If you’re like most women, the answer is probably “Yes.” You are loyal and dependable– very admirable traits.

But can you answer the same, “Yes” to those questions regarding yourself? Do you make promises to yourself that you don’t keep? Do you commonly hear yourself saying, “I’ll start for real on Monday,” or “I’m just too busy right now, I’ll do it later” ?
If you wouldn’t break a promise to a friend or family member, why do you do it to yourself?

Everytime you neglect to follow through on a promise to yourself (I promise to exercise 5 time a week for 30 minutes), you are telling yourself that you don’t matter and that it isn’t important that you follow through on promises to yourself.

I find this is a killer when it comes to living an authentic life. Any time that you second- guess your decisions, you say to yourself (in the form of The Inner Critic), “I’m not sure you know what you’re doing here….” and insecurity and self-doubt creep in.

What are you holding yourself back from? It could be something big — “I don’t want to go back to school because then I am taking on new debt.” It could be something small — “I don’t want to cut my hair short because it might look bad.” If fear of a bad outcome is stopping you from trying new things or pursuing new interests, the inner critic is creeping in and causing you to doubt yourself.

If you truly want to try something, try it! And if it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted or expected, know that you’re still okay. Your life won’t fall apart because you don’t like your new haircut! The laundry can wait 30 minutes while you exercise! Don’t let fear or self-imposed obligations stop you from living your life the way you want to, even if it means living with a bad hair cut for a couple of weeks or delaying a bit of housework.

Sometimes we fear other people’s responses to our actions (this is also the inner critic acting through what it thinks others might think). What would my mother say if she saw my laundry piled up like that while I went to the gym?”

I used to let what others might think get in the way of pursuing my passions in life. Then I discovered two simple words to silence my inner critic immediately.
Those words are: SO WHAT.

These two words stop my inner critic in its tracks and puts my decision in perspective. They can completely change your life.
This is how it works:
Inner critic: What if I cut my hair and it looks stupid, and then I’ll have to deal with it until it grows out!
YOU: So WHAT?
Inner critic: What if people think I’m crazy to train for a marathon? What if they think I’m too old?
YOU: SO WHAT?
Inner critic: What if mom judges me for not doing the laundry today?
YOU: SO WHAT?

Often the reason your life isn’t the way you want it to be, or you don’t feel successful or authentic, stems from the fact that you are looking for reasons NOT to succeed. Don’t let your inner critic convince you that you’re wrong to pursue something you’re passionate about. Don’t let what other people think stop you from doing something. I have learned that most people are much too busy worrying about their own lives, to worry about what you’re doing with yours! Keep your promises to yourself, the same way you would for a friend, and don’t take advice from your inner critic!

Kimberly Englot is an Authentic Life coach, the founder of Authentic Self and the creator of the Life Cleanse mastermind. Kimberly’s passion is to work with women who are ready to identify and eliminate their resistance to living greatly. She teaches women to listen to their intuitions, cast out self doubt and have the courage to be authentic. An advocate of life long learning and personal growth, Kimberly’s personal philosophy is “Be True to yourself: Be Authentic!” For more information check out her website or email her at kimberlyenglot@gmail.com.